rest in peace.

Over the past year, three people under the age of 25 have died from my hometown. No, they weren't my best friends and I haven't even spoke to some of them in years, but at some point, all of these people have been in and affected a part of my life. My heart goes out to those who still knew them on a more personal level and all those who are hurt by these tragedies. I have either gone to school with or worked with these people, have shared millions of laughs, and know their families and friends. One death is hard enough, but we are looking at three in the span between January and August. Drug overdoses, suicide, and car crashes have taken these people away from the world and every single time the phone rings to report the news, my heart shatters into pieces for their young age, their families and their loved ones. Just wanted to take a minute to remember these amazing people and share my short and sweet experiences with each one. Thank you for those memories and know that we will be passing on those memories forever. Rest in Peace Rachel O'Brien, Ricky Jaros and Jon Halverson. You will be forever missed.

[7th grade choir concert]

Unfortunately, I don't have any pictures of Rachel and I from back in the day, but I did take this of all the girls outside Bethel for our Spring choir concert.

I met Rachel O'Brien in first hour on the first day of 6th grade. All the boys liked her and I had a serious case of the green-eyed monster. She heard my laugh and saw my chubby rollie-pollie-ollie body running to the water fountain and thought I was handicap. Despite this fact, by the time Mr.Vigardt's homebase? (homeroom?...what the hell did we call that last hour of class?) rolled around, we had hit it off as friends. Rachel could always make you laugh. Whether it was doing an impression, making a silly face or telling a joke, she was always gushing with goofiness. We drifted apart as the years went on--different interests, new friends--the typical high school girl reasons for losing touch. I'm so sad I won't ever get the opportunity to hear one of those jokes again. I'm so sad I didn't try to rekindle our friendship or help in any way. I knew so much of what was going with her through the gossip and the grapevine (evil, high school bullshit), and never did anything to stop it. For that Rachel, I'm sorry. Just know there are millions of people that would give anything to see your smile again.

Getting my first job at Champps Americana in the middle of my hometown of the NB with Shannon (one of my very best friends!) seemed to be one of the greatest things that happened to me in the spring of my senior year. Then I met Ricky Jaros and it quickly became the ABSOLUTE best thing EVER! I thought Ricky was SO sexy and my heart jumped every time he would speak to me. I didn't really know him all that well, but it really tore me up when I heard about his car accident today. I'll never forget this one day at work that I was excitedly working with Ricky. We were both putzing around at the host stand and he came up to me with one of those plastic rings out of the vending machines. He flirtatiously slipped the ring on my finger and gave me a little wink. Pretty sure my entire world stopped. All because of Pretty Ricky. When Shan started seeing Tyler (another one of the Champps crew...), the opportunity to see Ricky outside of work presented itself. I was taken at the time (and madly in love with my boyfriend, I might add) so I knew nothing would happen, but I was still excited to get out of the kitchen and expo-line setting with him! That night, me, Shannon, Tyler and Andy (another server) all had drinks and hung out at Andy's apartment. I had so much fun with Ricky--talking nonsense, playing games and taking pictures. He got fired from Champps not too long after that and I haven't heard much of him since until today. It's strange because I was thinking about him the other day. When Ellie brought up his name, I thought it was such an odd coincidence that he had just crossed my mind. Unfortunately, the news behind the name wasn't anything I wanted to hear. You're in our thoughts and prayers Pretty Ricky.

Jon Halverson and I went to school together since I was in Kindergarten. I knew who he was, but we never really crossed paths until my sophomore year and his junior year of high school. He was in my boyfriend's group of friends and started dating one of my best friends. Naturally, we all hung out all the time. Halvo introduced me to the wonderful world of marijuana. He was always down to have a good time and we let our minds take us on all sorts of crazy adventures all together. Emily and Jon went through some dark times where we didn't see them for a while. I missed her terribly, but I was surprised by how much I missed Jon as well. Over the time of hanging out, he wasn't just Polski's friend anymore--he had become my friend too. After I went away to school for a while, I got a message from Emily saying they were getting better. Treatment and support were helping them to clean up their act and I was so excited to get home to see them. The first time we all partied together back at the U of M house, they were both proud to show off their sobriety. I was thrilled. :) Every time I would go home over the past 3 years, the U of M house would bring us all together and we'd get down like the old times. Jon and Emily were always there--so in love and ready to reconnect with all their old friends. Jon would always be the first to ask how Chicago was going and catch up. The last time I saw Jon was only weeks before he died. I had come home for Easter weekend and without fail, we headed down to the U to get our party on. When I arrived, Jon was already there jersey-ed up with Bulls gear and ready to get down. We smoked a few bowls and he told us about his plans to go to culinary school, Emily's plans to move into his apartment and upcoming travel plans. I got wind of the suicide nearly 10 days later. Pure shock took over and I thought it was just a joke. A cruel joke at that. None of the boys had heard yet and it wasn't until I heard the funeral plans that it actually hit me that I wouldn't be seeing him when I went home the following weekend. All of these people's deaths are tragic, but Jon's will ache forever. We may not have been the best of friends, but we were always together. We were always around each other. He was the most incredible boyfriend to someone I love and treasure very much and a great friend to so many others. I still cry every damn time I see your picture Jon. I went to get a photo from his Facebook to include in this post and I saw that the picture above was set as his profile picture on April 5--days before his death. It just hit me all over again. Love you Jon--we're still thinking of you and missing you constantly.

xx, Amanda.